By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
