this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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