what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Randomize
