Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
