she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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