is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
