Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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