I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
