I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize