I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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