Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
