Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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