i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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