Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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