My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
