Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
