Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
