I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
