So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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