Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Quick, to the slutcave!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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