? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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