Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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