i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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