I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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