ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  did you get my message about your dog?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  no... is he ok?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry

  Fav 16 916 3134

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.

  Fav 5 960 2377

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.

  Fav 23 1004 4588

  share tweet
  

• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"

  Fav 12 2238 5496

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch

  Fav 10 4847 1028

  share tweet
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

  Fav 4 5867 1266

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."

  Fav 4 2890 1254

  share tweet
  

• (334): View more from Alabama

  She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

  Fav 3 954 3380

  share tweet
  

• (556): View more from

  Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

  Fav 10 2356 1013

  share tweet
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?

  Fav 5 1272 852

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?

  Fav 12 1478 1510

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?

  Fav 1 1197 607

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero

  Fav 0 963 452

  share tweet
  

• (605): View more from South Dakota

  My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.

  Fav 0 40 19

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (239): View more from Florida

  I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.

  Fav 0 31 11

  share tweet
  

Randomize