I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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