You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
They have beer where we have blood.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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