I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
