Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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