Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i dont even know how to be here
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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