Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
