great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
