Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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