I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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