You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
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U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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