ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Dear god my vagina.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
