does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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