I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize