So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
