Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
