It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
