just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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