Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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