yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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