You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize