Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
