Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
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