you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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