You're like the curious george of whores
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
