Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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