I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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