Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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