So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
