That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She even gives head with a lisp.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
