Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
