Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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