Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
