i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
