i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
