found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
