How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
