My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
