I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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