Umm I'm too high to move.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
