I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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