This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
