Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
