you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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