i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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