I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
