we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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